Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Awful 2 kg more HIGH and LOW

How I wish I can make the scale love me, I hate it more when it shows me what I don't want to see. I gained 2 kg and it was terribly due to brownies cravings I've been having this past 2 weeks. After so much deliberation and finding inspiration boards on pinterest, I decided to quit my sinful snacks and found comfort with almonds ( raw from Iran ~Thanks Mama! ).. then chewing some greens, riding my bike again for 20 minutes a day. I do hope this time it works out. I know I have deeper problems, I had  hypothyroidism when I was pregnant. There was no chance to visit a doctor again after we went back here in UAE. I am constantly stressed and dizzy, may be because of lack of sleep and  again stress.

I made a decision to have one child, though my husband doesn't agree; I know it is the only way I can be a good mom to Raya. Regaining my strength and loosing weight is a battle but that the driving force is the goal to be back on track with exercise and a healthy living. I have more respect now to stay at home moms since I became one, not that I don't have before but I do now realized the hardest JOB really is being a mother and a wife.

I tend to forget my own needs and still struggle to basically stress my self out on doing everything. By the time my husband comes home, my exhaustion really dive me to our bed and doze off till the next feeding time. In between the naps of Raya in day time, I am on the go cooking and eating or may be grabbing bites of what I can see that is why I cannot control my weight..the refrigerator offers quick and easy meals that of course heavy on calories. But I had enough, I must tell this to my self over and over again, especially when I see my self in the mirror.. aw what a sight to see ;).

I believe this time I can win this battle, and so may God help me!

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